Symptoms of Perimenopause Threatens A Close Friendship
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Perimenopause threatens a friendship (credit: Adobe)
A friend, going through perimenopause, has become angry and distant. The writer asks for advice on how to help her and preserve the friendship.
QUESTION
Dear Friendship Doctor,
I’m hoping you can help me. My close friend is going through perimenopause.
For a couple of months, she’s been distant towards me, and now she’s rude and hardly talks to me. I try to understand what she is going through. And I tried to talk to her about seeing a doctor for her tendency to lash out.
I’m trying to be there for her as she has always been there for me. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can give me. I don’t want to lose my best friend.
Thank you,
Dennis
ANSWER
Hi Dennis,
When someone suddenly cuts off a friendship without explanation, it can be jolting as well as perplexing. You can only guess at the reasons for that person’s actions. In this case, you believe it’s due to your friend going through perimenopause.
That may likely be the cause. Mood swings (and sometimes mental illness) are common during perimenopause because of hormonal shifts. There are actually over thirty symptoms of menopause, and many times people are caught unaware and unprepared.
As you suggested already, it sounds like her seeing a doctor would be very helpful in finding out what’s going on. Many women take hormones to help them feel better and ameliorate troublesome symptoms. But you can’t make her seek treatment.
Despite your concern for her and your friendship, you are really in a difficult position. All you can do is be as patient and understanding as possible and give her the space she needs at this point. Hopefully, if your friendship is strong, it will survive.
You might find this article in The Pause newsletter helpful reading. It’s from a woman who is in your friend’s shoes. Another recent article in The Washington Post is from a partner of a woman going through perimenopause.
Hope this is helpful.
Best, Irene
SAVE TO PINTEREST!!
Category: Dealing with friends with health and/or emotional problems
