Comments on: My friend doesn’t understand depression

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 08 Dec 2016 21:50:05 +0000

Great post! I read this because I have a friend who suffers from depression and lately she’s been distancing herself from our group of friends. Thanks for your post, it gave me a little more insight into what her situation might be like.

By: Sheryl Kraft

Sheryl Kraft — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 16:36:47 +0000

Such good advice. It is really the old saying – that you never know until you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes – that applies here. For someone not familiar with mental illness, it is very hard to imagine the repercussions it can have on another person.

By: Irene (the other one) :)

Irene (the other one) :) — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 12:34:59 +0000

I had a friend years ago, who suffered very badly with depression. I did not understand her at the time, but I was enlightened by someone else, that indeed it is a chemical imbalance that the persons suffering can do nothing about, unless they get medical and sympathetic help from professionals. However, friends who do understand this condition can be of great help if they just ask the person suffering if there is anything they can do to help the situation. Even if they can’t, just knowing that someone is there for you can give a lot of emotional strength to continue towards healing of the condition. And Bonnie, you could be the person who teaches your friend how to help you and others in the same situation. Ask if she’d be willing to learn from you.

By: Amy F

Amy F — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 12:10:26 +0000

If your friend is supportive now, I agree about forgiving her. People often don’t know what they don’t know. Googling a mental disorder is different than understanding the condition, having it or knowing someone who suffers. Depression, as you know, is a medical illness, but many people do not. Additionally, some people have a more difficult time empathizing unless they can see or feel the experience personally,

Think about how difficult your depression can be on you. Sometimes people dealing with mental illness have to work so hard to be okay just to function, they can forget their illness impacts others and their relationships. Just because your friend doesn’t have depression doesn’t mean her life is easy or she doesn’t have “stuff”. Sometimes even the best of friends need to set boundaries about how much they can tolerate at a given moment in time. This is healthy. Recognizing you may have relied on your friend too much will help you moving forward.

I think having a conversation with your friend about communication and agreeing that she can tell you if you’re asking too much and you can tell her if she’s not understanding in a way you can hear might be really helpful.