Making friends late in the game
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A high school senior worries it’s “too late in the game” for her to make friends.
QUESTION
Hi,
I’m currently a second-semester senior in high school with not a single friend. While I do have some acquaintances, there is no one that I’m close enough with to go out to lunch or hang out with outside of school.
Since it’s the second semester, most people are holding on to their cliques, which makes things even more uncomfortable for me. I am lonely all the time and I feel stuck in this situation. How do I go about making friends this late in the game?
Signed, Allie
ANSWER
Hi Allie,
You are not the only senior at your school who could have written this letter, even though you probably feel like you are. I think you still have time to make friends, because high school friendships change. Slipping seamlessly into a clique is less of an option than finding other singletons like yourself, who are aching for someone with whom to socialize outside of school.
Here are some tips:
- Look for others who march to the beat of their own drummer (While unique individuals sometimes have difficulty making friends in high school, they often thrive in adulthood with others who appreciate their individuality.)
- Consider opposite sex friendships (Sometimes boy/girl platonic relationships can be less complicated than friendships with girls).
- Find someone in the cafeteria who is eating alone and ask if she’d like to go out to lunch or hang out (An outing isn’t a commitment to a close friendship and she’d probably be thrilled with the invitation).
Good luck!
Signed, Amy Feld
*Amy Feld, PhD, MSW has trained and worked as a child psychologist.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this or any other post is intended to substitute for medical, psychiatric or clinical diagnosis/treatment. Rather, all posts are written as the type of advice that one friend might give to another.
These links to prior questions on The Friendship Blog about finding friends at school may also be helpful:
- Struggling to find friends
- Embarrassed to have no friends at school
- Skipped grades and have not friends in high school
- 14-year-old student in a small school has trouble finding friends
Category: HAVING NO FRIENDS
Dear Allie,
I am so sorry that you don’t have any close friends. My daughter has felt the same way, she found a friend group during prom last month. The group happened to be a girl who felt the same way and 3 boys who also felt alone. She has also entered a chat group with kids that are going to the same college, this has really helped
Because she realized that everyone feels this way. So sweet girl you are not alone! I tell my daughter to smile, it helps break the ice and prayer does work. COLLEGE, meet up groups are a great resource. Everything will be fine, don’t worry.
All the best,
Mary
Hi. Have you thought of getting a part-time
job where you could meet other people and make some more friends there?
Have you tried ‘singles’ holidays – sometimes these come with an age bracket, as in, 18-30, or 30-50, and similar. You might meet someone in the same position as yourself, male or female, and hopefully someone who lives relatively near you, so that you can meet from time to time. Just a thought.